So, here's what have I been sensing:
... MORE LIKE FEELING.
I moved through the craziest of all emotions with this past eclipse. I wonder if you would even believe the words coming out of my mouth (well, thoughts) and onto this paper? I really do wonder. Do you understand the words that Is peak? More like, comprehend. Do you? Anyways, I digress. I moved through some fierce emotions that took me out of my comfort zone. I t was so uncomfortable what I felt as I faced myself and saw the things that made me uncomfortable face to face, There was nowhere to run. I had to face myself and what was causing me to feel so much pain.
I cried for 8 days straight leading to the eclipse that took place on December 4th. It was so painful. I didn't know who to call on so I called on my Mama, my cousin Michelle, my brother James and my art Director, Ashley. Passion was around but I didn't tell her much. It was so heavy. I later told Fab - to embarrassed to share.
For the first two days, I cried alone at home with my daughters as my witnesses. I needed them to know that whatever the fuck I was going through, that I would get through it and that it was ok to cry. even if neither of us could make sense out of what was happening.
I wanted to call God but it felt like my spirit was telling me to call on me so I called my mama... the next best thing.
I shed the old me. Old beliefs. Old lovers. Old pain. Old personas.
I think what I was facing/feeling was an ascension because meanwhile I was battling flu like symptoms.
I think it is safe to say that I am healed and renewed. Every pain that was left unsettled for years have now been set free.
The little girl in me Is healed and ready to play.
I need no validation. And, I feel real good in my skin.
I forgive the past and a very hell fuck yea to the present moment.
I know now that I can detach from the outcome because we are all one and that I am divinely guided all the way home until this is done. Whatever I need I shall have, right when I need it. I know that through each of you, my needs shall be met and I, yours. I can standby in this knowing.
So, now, I am taking a chill pill and trust the process.
Now I can finally relax.
before I let you go...
I warn you that you must be careful what you ask for because it does come true.
I want to warn you to be careful of the things that you say.
I want to warn you to be careful to choose and speak your words carefully - with great care.
I do believe that we could exist with ease and learn our lessons through grace
I do believe that the stories of others could be just that,
All is well
I create my dream life,
and with intention.
All of my needs
are provided for,
thus, there is no need to worry.
I release my need to control
and so I flow like water.
I accept all phases of the process,
to move through each phase
Til next time...