I know this is stupid and a waste of time, but...
I know this is stupid and a waste of time, but I sit around and do nothing. Not all of the time but often times. Really, its not that I am doing nothing. I am doing a lot of thinking. Perhaps, too much thinking. Thinking about this and thinking about that. Planning this and planning that. I overthink and over plan so much that it paralyzes me to the point of doing nothing - that is what I mean. I mean, I really care little about how anyone interpreted that or what they thought I meant or anything else for that matter but to clarify, that is what I mean or meant. I am wasting time and, yep, it is stupid yet necessary, I guess. Still, I have a still voice in my head that tells me that I am exactly where I need to be while yet another voice interjects and tells me girl, “alright now, let’s get to it”. I struggle with both of these voices and when I have the surge of energy come through, I fight through the notion that I am exactly where I need to be into the notion of this is where I am going once I finally begin to move. I’ve written out my thoughts a million and one times enough, I am sure, to have 1,001 business plans on deck for you, me, them, us we – all of us. We are all going to be set let me tell ya! Haha. Even though its not funny it is and sometimes, I just have to have myself a laugh to get through. But truly, I feel it’s stupid that I have to be pushed up against a wall sometimes in order to get things done but when I am working for others, it is no problem. I can see their problem and their solution and fix it so fast without any hesitation but when it comes to me I overthink and overthink and overthink to the point of no return. This is called perfectionism but is it really perfectionism when you fail to start or to keep going because you torture yourself with an influx of thoughts? I think that that is called procrastination or maybe it is fear? Well, they say that procrastination is caused by fear, a fear of your own potential and where it could actually lead you. Why am I so afraid of where my life wants to take me? Why am I so afraid of my own potential? Why am I so afraid of me? I know that this is stupid and a waste of time but yea, I procrastinate. And, I procrastinate bad. And, yea, it sucks. I just want to get back on my high horse and ride that bitch into paradise. I am definitely on my way there once I get passed myself. I am definitely on my way. Thus, this stupid act of wasting time will be behind me especially since I plan to write down my manifestations and visualize them when the lions gate portal opens on August 8th, in just a few short days. I have been preparing my body by cleaning up my diet and by giving it the finest and cleanest of foods. When I look back on this time after August 8th, I am going to see that I have prepped my mind and ready myself to get onto the other side of me, the other side of procrastination. The end of the stupidness and wasting time.
August 3, 2022 | 6:46PM EST | Written by RIMIDI